I've mulled this thought for maybe 30 seconds. I've been so immersed with experiencing my passion that I've had the answer in 2 seconds, while the remaining time was finding an experience from my past that is broad and applicable across life's many faces. That may not be fair to my peers across varying degrees of success, but to ME, its the basis of what we do: help people transform their lives.
"Don't make what we do seem simple!"
It isn't. We see potential in someone that they may not yet be able to perceive. We're healers that are modern-day alchemists; transmuting energy likened to the way they've changed lead into gold. We're working as diplomats of our own sovereignty with other "nations" seeking to stimulate infrastructure for their purpose. We're farmers sowing seeds in a field with the excitement of harvest to be expected! It is an ideal career path for those that don't mind assisting others because OUR significance is in people. The fun ... some people see "challenge" ... is getting fully independent, truly free and mature folks to commit to a process and routine that is different from what they may have experienced in life and holding them accountable to the plan that has been mapped out based on their intention; letting go of bondage that will not serve the client while simultaneously installing habits that are keys to liberation.
Don't believe it's tough? Tell a 6-year old that it is bedtime while they're watching their favorite television show. Some are cooperative, pleasant even, while others ... well, like an old friend of mine told me once while listening to my music, "he sounds like my son.". It was death metal by the way; bunch of blood-curdling 'growls' and 'screams' for those of us that are unfamiliar with the genre.
Seriously, the patience it takes to complete a 'shift' is predicated on time - this is our most valuable resource. One that cannot be taken lightly. Those that see themselves as an asset will proceed from advisory. Others, they settle back into the familiar, so it becomes a "leading a horse to the water, but can't make it drink" ordeal. I have fun with those by the way!
For me, the discord that a client feels in the "horse" example is a clear indicator of needing support, and I love and enjoy being their confidant, if you will. The joy is in the journey, sans no-one.
Story time!
Back in 2015, I was a store manager for several locations in the metro-Atlanta area at a major automotive-retail, fortune 200 company. Not a subordinate, the guy. At a fairly young age, I was responsible for being a role-model for my team and the demographic of the location in terms of how the business was branded. Of the many duties I've had, meeting potential candidates for hire was a regular occurrence as much as vetting was. Leading the team to accomplishing regular goals, coaching, praise, growing, all regular practice (so was working between 60-80 hours weekly on salary).
On one of the busiest days, I've remembered doing something that was out-of-character: I've told my team that I was NOT going to speak to any applicants today, as feeling inundated and fatigued by the steadily increasing demand of the company was growing. I was a rigid, first-impression guy and i couldn't manage representing myself well (pun intended), let alone impromptu interviewing candidates. I've even deferred/delegated THAT particular duty, amongst others, to my management team, as I've decided that taking things easy would be ALL I would be doing that day. I was so serious that I was unresponsive to the hails of the team.
In layman's terms: I ignored them. No matter how busy it became, or how frustrated the team and customers were, i stayed my behind in the back. Hiding behind the guise of trusting my team, I remember thinking, "what are YOU doing J? This isn't YOU." And so, a fracture of my focused energy was created...
Well, near the end of the shift that I was fully intending on leaving promptly, one of the managers came to me as I was gathering my belongings to leave for the day. He informed me of an applicant that wanted to speak to me. I was NOT enthused, though, I would do this ONE thing before leaving. It was my responsibility ... sigh ... so I figured, " just be nice, hear them out, wish the candidate luck, then proceed home," ... to the bed that I barely slept on any longer. I came out to greet a well-defined young man, around my age ... with tattoos all over his body, from 'head to toe'.
"Alright, let's start! "
"Right now? "
"Right now. "
"But sir, I'm not dressed up for an interview"
"Now or never."
He started by thanking me to speak with him because the team told him I was leaving and that he wouldn't hold me up beyond reason. I remained quiet and unresponsive; convicted felon. As he proceeded to tell me how much he enjoyed taking out the trash and scrubbing toilets, no matter the amount of filth, and offered to take minimum wage to "earn his keep" and him wanting to start immediately. THIS, and more similar words were offered; desperate. I cut him off. Maaaaan, I'm gonna do it...
"Are you a convicted felon? "
"Yes sir..." he replied, the look of powerlessness apparent "... I was incarcerated for 5 years for assault..."
"That's an inordinate amount of time to serve for just one charge," my inner-attorney spake, " but I promise you, you'll have a hard time finding a job if that's what you want, I'm sor--"
"Thank you for your time sir"
A familiar face of frustration was traded from that of powerlessness. Familiar because a few years prior, I've heard the words "over qualified" often. As he began to exit, after watching him head there in silence ...
"You didn't let me finish."
"Sir? " he lit up.
"Let's go outside and talk for a minute, this place is a little stuffy. "
"Okay, sir", as certain as he was unsure what was going to happen next.
I didn't know what was going to happen myself, but I knew the company wouldn't hire him. Something about this man, drew me to him though, as I felt that I had something to offer him, more valuable than a job.
He followed me to the steakhouse next to my store's location in the shopping plaza. There, I ordered a couple of beers and appetizers. I figured I haven't enjoyed my money as much as I preferred, beyond treating my team to catered food for being stellar, so this random act of kindness wasn't so random. It seemed confusing to him, believe me it was confusing to me as well, but he didn't seem guarded. He spoke transparently and bluntly but with deep conviction, all of which I appreciated, as tears welled in his eyes. He told me a story of a "hard-headed kid" that was raised by a single father. His mother overdosed on drugs when he was young and having to exceed high expectations of his father throughout his life. None of the friends he had prior to his incarceration were existent for many reasons and that, of course, he had a parole mandate citing he needed to gain and maintain employment for its duration. MUCH more was said at our 'dinner' but that's irrelevant. He didn't shift eye contact for even 1 second; adding more outstanding traits of a great candidate that I probably couldn't hire.
When it was my turn to give a reply, I figured the best thing I could do in the moment, besides feeding him, was to motivate him. In fact, I've done MORE for him... I actually empowered him by sharing a story of my step-father becoming a small business owner and the conditions surrounding his journey to realizing that. He was courteous as he listened but then ...
"Why?"
"Come again? "
"I'm thankful for everything that you're doing, but I don't understand it all. You don't even know me. "
"Not personally, no, but you remind me of a few people I know. I'm not seeking friendship or anything, but I felt the need to speak with you. "
"I don't get it sir... " -- polite still.
"You weren't paying attention then" I rebutted.
"Huh? "
"I won't tell the story again, but it's like this ... if nobody is willing to give you a job, create one."
"Starting a business takes money!"
"It does."
"I don't have any that's why I'm looking for work."
"I think you need to re-evaluate how you're doing it."
"Temp service won't do. They won't accept THAT. "
"You definitely weren't listening. I know why though. "
"Enlighten me, " he said defiantly. I prefer stirred anger over helplessness, and he was there. Good!
"You live in a subdivision of houses? "
"I do. "
"You have lawn care equipment? Mower and trimmer? "
"It's my dad's but I can use it, yes."
"Okay! That's all!" I teased with my usual 'chessa cat smile'.
"No! Don't do me like that!" He said while laughing. He is heading into joy. Good!
"I'm certain your neighborhood has unkempt yards, some may be on abandoned property, but some are occupied by single moms or seniors. I'm guessing that life's challenges are preventing an orderly look. I don't think it much to ask if you can mow and trim their yards for about $20. It isn't the sun and the moon, but doing that kind of work would net more income than a minimum wage, part-time job. You'd have more flexibility in your current situation to work as you please. You wouldn't feel helpless either, but promise yourself to reinvest every time you get paid."
"I need a job! "
"A business holds more weight than a job. They (his parole officers) will acknowledge it, just use the information I gave you."
He didn't seem convinced, still, his overall demeanor was optimistic, more than anything I've seen from him the entire time as I've watched him go in and out of deep thought. I offered him a ride home when we finished eating and my paying of the tab, in which he refused the ride. It was all surreal to him. He suggested it was best for him to walk home so he could gather his thoughts, as his father would probably expect something that would soothe any anger. I left, impressed yet not concerned. I just have a knowing of things when I believe in something.
A few weeks came and went, not hearing or seeing the young man I shared a meal with. My store was curiously slow, and so, I was able to notice any incoming customers. Then came a couple of pickup trucks outside with lawn care equipment and a crew. I get my game face on because usually, I'd sell at minimum a few cases of bar oil and/or a few batteries to that kind of business. And guess who came in? Yep, the same young man!
"I see you've became employed! I'm happy for you!" I greeted him
"No sir, I'm not employed. I started this company."
"You're kidding!"
"No sir. I respected your words and I took them to heart."
"So ... HOW were you able to get a truck, crew and the amount of stuff that you have?"
The story kinda went like this:
He went home empty-handed and his father made him feel small. He didn't like the way he felt after having too many of those kinds of conversations, so the next morning he walked his subdivision inquiring of lawn care for the kind of homes that were detailed a few paragraphs back. As he started cutting lawns, other neighbors would ask if he would do the same for them. After a days work, he made his father's weekly salary and gave 100% of the earnings to him and told him how it came about. After about a week or so of doing this exact same thing, the father came home with an older truck and told him that it needed to be worked on, but it runs and should be much easier than lugging around gas cans, oil, etc. His father was a mechanic and never taught him automotive repair, nor would the father assist him, but the young man's appetite to learn was insatiable, so, he consulted YouTube University. His father NOW impressed with his ability to assimilate information, asked if he considered starting a business ... and you know what the young man did? He shown his father paperwork to form a small business and that everything was already underway. In fact, at that point in time, he already negotiated pay with an ex-girlfriend's relative and another friend and that they had properties over a certain coverage area. Rinse, wash, repeat ... the business ballooned expeditiously!
He didn't have to show me gratitude, though he did by his presence and of course, with words. 'Shift' complete.
Now, analogy time! Another play from your favorite life coach!
There was a meme I shared on Facebook recently that had me slack-jawed, but in the most impressive way. It was a cat, seemingly stressed, looking through the doorway of a carrier without a lid on top of it. The cat absolutely has the ability to jump out of the carrier, but his FOCUS wasn't on his ability, but rather the doorway.
So it's like this:
You CANNOT solve a problem being in the problem. The problem only will be that until you "get outside of the box".
With love,
J
P.S. Consultation is free, meaning the only thing you have to lose is time. Align yourself with that which you seek. It's worth it. Abundantly so.
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